Werner's - Hattiesville, TX

Chicken Fried Road Trip - Part I

Weary from travel and with fatigue from the frequency of “fork to mouth” action from stuffing our faces with barbeque, Chicken Fried Father and I stumbled onto Werner’s on Day 1 of our road trip in search of some chicken fried joy to moderate our barbeque-filled afternoon. It turns out, Werner’s is a local chain serving home-style food. The Werner’s we visited was a ramshackle place – the outside was a bit run down and the inside matched. The restaurant looked like an old house with oblong rooms and sitting areas that mimicked (or were) an old farmhouse.

The CFS was disappointing. The steak was tough as a result of being overfried and the breading didn’t stick to it. Gravy was traditional and good but nothing to, ahem, write home about – an unfortunate turn of phrase since I’m now writing home about it. The potatoes were whipped and had good flavor. The green beans, while obviously from a can, had good flavor and a healthy does of bacon to balance the earthiness of the beans with the fatty saltiness of the bacon. Just the way you want them.

But, because it was only $4.99, we didn’t complain. Where are you going to get that value in Houston?

No matter how thirsty you are, don’t ask for a cold ale (or any ale). They don’t have it.

Texas Land & Cattle -- Tomball, TX

I tend to be wary of Texas-themed restaurants – they tend to mask poor quality food with the spectacle of Texas, hoping non-Texans (and Texans) won’t notice. Texas Land & Cattle deviates slightly from this mold but isn’t without it’s problems.

Like other Texas-themed restaurants, the décor was western themed, although more tasteful than you might imagine. The notable exception was the giant steer head on the wall.
The CFS ($11.95) was a southern style breading soft and juicy round steak. The tenderness was unexpectedly moist and tender, almost fork tender. The breading was soft and not overly crispy. The gravy was a classic luscious white gravy. There was a nice hint of cumin that brought a nice smoky flavor. As good as the technical preparation was, the flavor was a bit bland. Every level (breading, meat, gravy) needed salt and at least a hearty dash of pepper.

The garlic mashed potatoes were tasty and it was clearly prepared freshly and with care. The skins were left on and the garlic tasted like it was roasted, then added, giving the potatoes a nice smoky-sweet flavor instead of overpowering the dish. Still, a dash of salt would have again been warranted.

For a slow Sunday lunch in an empty restaurant, the service was slow, although our waitress was attentive and polite.

If you ignore the wall-spanning Lonesome Dove scene painting on the wall, Texas Land & Cattle ends up like other restaurants. A little more salt and I’d be right at home.

Texas Burger - Fairfield, TX

Free from the vegetable-loving Mrs. Chicken Fried Steak, tater tot and I set out on a road trip in search of fried tasty vittles in central Texas.

One of my favorite chain burger places is Texas Burger – a place I insist on stopping by each time we make a long haul to Dallas.

This particular Texas Burger in Fairfield shares space with a Subway (and it seemed that most of the patrons were waiting in line for the subway at lunch on a Thursday). The inside is modest but comfortable.

The CFS: Departing from my usual “Double Texas Burger” order, I ordered the steak finger basket. The “meat” itself was too salty but was moist and chewy. I won’t speculate on exactly what it was, but the quality of the filler was low.

Breading: Very thin. So thin you could see the meat itself through the breading. It was also very salty and a bit unpleasant.

Gravy: The gravy came in a little side cup. It didn’t have much flavor but did have the look of a traditional gravy.
Knife: None. Steak fingers are for fingers.

Sides: A little bag of french fries. Texas Burger fries (at least at this location) have a nice little kick and rekindled tater tot’s love of the salted potato stick, thus making my life easier.

Cost: $7.99. A little expensive considering the quantity and quality.

Service: Very good. The woman who took our order also waited on us at our table. She brought our order out swiftly and also brought out our cookies when they were ready.
Music Selection: None.

I recommend sticking to the burger products at the Texas Burger. But, do try the homemade shakes! They can make up for a lot.

John's Cafe - Plano, TX

Tucked away in a strip mall in east Plano, John’s Café boasts a range of country cooking. They seem to specialize in breakfast and lunch items (and close early, so plan ahead).

Unfortunately, the inside matched the outside dinginess. There was an odor of fresh paint in the restaurant. The décor inside was minimal, with the television as the center of attention in the rather small dining room. The tables are covered with a heavy (clear) plastic sheet that detracted from the ambiance.

The CFS: The CFS was awful. The meat was thin and tough, like a McDonalds hamburger patty gone old. Needless to say, the meat was tough. I think it was sirloin, but I won’t speculate (I won’t share manner of meat we suspected). There was also an odd flavor of garlic powder or onion powder that was very unpleasant.

Breading: Breading was good not but without much flavor.

Gravy: The gravy saved the day. Just like chicken fried mom used to make! It was white, fresh and creamy.

Knife: Steak knife. The size (it being thin) wasn’t the problem – it was the density of the meat.

Sides: Choose two. The mashed potatoes were solid but unremarkable. It had good flavor and nice garlic and salty flavor. The okra was the best of the two: hot and tasty.

There were hot rolls provided to start which caused me mixed emotion. That they were free and hot was good. That they were dry and tasteless was bad.

Cost: $ 7.29. Not a bad price for a lunch, but for the quality, it was a little high.

Service: The service was OK. Very friendly but a little lax. Sides were forgotten. Drink refills were slow. Still, a smile and some good banter make up for a lot.

Music Selection: The din of something but I couldn’t make it out.

I can’t recommend a visit to John’s Café. It was a Sunday lunch, so a weekday meal might be better. I’m reminded of Anthony Bordain’s recommendation in Kitchen Confidential to not eat fish in a restaurant on Monday. Maybe we can add: “don’t eat CFS on a Sunday.”

Swanson's Banquet Dinner - CFS Homestead, TX

Not being a CFS snob, and with Mrs. CFS out of town for a few days, Tater Tot and I decided to try something new: Swanson’s frozen “Chicken Fried Beef Steak Meal" with "Country Style Gravy." You can probably predict how it ended.

Inspecting it initially, the entombed, frozen components in the plastic tray made for a very unappealing “eat with your eyes experience.”

After the instructed microwave time, we dug in. The breading was soggy as a sponge. There was a hint if meat flavor but otherwise very bland. The gravy didn’t even resemble gravy – it looked like a marshmallow puff type gravy that congealed around the meat. It came with two sides. The mashed potato was bland and looked like wet cotton candy. The corn, oddly, was fine - plump and sweet, not expected from a meal locked in a freezer for three months.

Although I usually encourage Tater Tot to eat more of his dinner, I wasn’t displeased that he didn’t want to continue. Fortunately, in the same trip to the grocery, we bought (and devoured) a medium sized watermelon.

I didn’t expect much and didn’t get much. We’ll stick to watermelon next time.

Star Cafe - Crosby, TX

Chicken Fried Neighbor and I happened across Star Café by accident. Getting a bit lost one day east of Lake Houston, we stumbled upon this jem of a place. Betwixt fields of cows and more fields of cows, Star Café is a perfect roadhouse café.

The inside is chock full of old movie posters and pictures of movie stars from the 1930s and 1940s. The hardwood floors compliment the classic diner table tops. The menu was pretty big, along with breakfast items which looked great, and mostly included diner-type fare.

The CFS: Superb. A tender and juicy cube steak that was cooked perfectly.

(I promise to get a better picture next time.)

Breading: Southern style – thick and crispy. My first impression was that the breading was a bit salty, but this actually turned out to be a perfect complement to the creaminess of the gravy.

Gravy: A nice, white cream gravy. Nothing really special here but the consistency was great and the flavor was a great complement to the CFS.

Knife: Steak knife. The steak was tender enough to eat with a fork but I used the knife so I could eat more of the awesome CFS faster.

Sides: Choice of potato (mashed, fried or baked) and one additional side. I went with the mashed potato and fried okra. The mashed potatoes were great – lumpy, creamy and full of flavor. Like the breading on the CFS, it was a bit salty but, again complimented by the gravy, the relationship was perfect.

Cost: $11.50. A little on the high side but the quality was great and worth the price. Hell, I’m still full.

Service: Wonderful. Our waitress was chatty and efficient. Chicken Fried Neighbor asked how large the CFS was and her coy reply was “you’ll see” with a sly smile.

Music Selection: Oldies (Elvis, Buddy Holly, Chubby Checker). Check out some of their antique juke boxes.

Despite the out of the way location, it’s well worth a trip. You won’t be sorry. There’s also a “golf facility” in the compound of buildings, but I didn’t see what this meant. After that CFS, I needed a nap, not a round of golf, miniature or otherwise.

21522 FM 2100
Crosby, Texas 77532

Fried Fish Friday (Catfish Cafe - Humble, TX)

New feature! Man cannot live by CFS alone. Besides fish is good for you.

Catfish Café in Humble delivers on both words in the title. The restaurant is small but cozy – a perfect little cafe. The catfish (all you can eat or orders of 3 and 4 strips) was hot and juicy. Tarter sauce was pumped out of a big jug, allowing generous portions (and Chicken Fried Neighbor to mix some evil concoctions). All you can eat was $15.99 which includes a side of hush puppies and French fries. Both were tasty but the fish was the star. The staff was attentive and kept the catfish flying out of the kitchen.

7042 FM 1960 Road East
Humble, TX