Swanson's Banquet Dinner - CFS Homestead, TX

Not being a CFS snob, and with Mrs. CFS out of town for a few days, Tater Tot and I decided to try something new: Swanson’s frozen “Chicken Fried Beef Steak Meal" with "Country Style Gravy." You can probably predict how it ended.

Inspecting it initially, the entombed, frozen components in the plastic tray made for a very unappealing “eat with your eyes experience.”

After the instructed microwave time, we dug in. The breading was soggy as a sponge. There was a hint if meat flavor but otherwise very bland. The gravy didn’t even resemble gravy – it looked like a marshmallow puff type gravy that congealed around the meat. It came with two sides. The mashed potato was bland and looked like wet cotton candy. The corn, oddly, was fine - plump and sweet, not expected from a meal locked in a freezer for three months.

Although I usually encourage Tater Tot to eat more of his dinner, I wasn’t displeased that he didn’t want to continue. Fortunately, in the same trip to the grocery, we bought (and devoured) a medium sized watermelon.

I didn’t expect much and didn’t get much. We’ll stick to watermelon next time.

Star Cafe - Crosby, TX

Chicken Fried Neighbor and I happened across Star Café by accident. Getting a bit lost one day east of Lake Houston, we stumbled upon this jem of a place. Betwixt fields of cows and more fields of cows, Star Café is a perfect roadhouse café.

The inside is chock full of old movie posters and pictures of movie stars from the 1930s and 1940s. The hardwood floors compliment the classic diner table tops. The menu was pretty big, along with breakfast items which looked great, and mostly included diner-type fare.

The CFS: Superb. A tender and juicy cube steak that was cooked perfectly.

(I promise to get a better picture next time.)

Breading: Southern style – thick and crispy. My first impression was that the breading was a bit salty, but this actually turned out to be a perfect complement to the creaminess of the gravy.

Gravy: A nice, white cream gravy. Nothing really special here but the consistency was great and the flavor was a great complement to the CFS.

Knife: Steak knife. The steak was tender enough to eat with a fork but I used the knife so I could eat more of the awesome CFS faster.

Sides: Choice of potato (mashed, fried or baked) and one additional side. I went with the mashed potato and fried okra. The mashed potatoes were great – lumpy, creamy and full of flavor. Like the breading on the CFS, it was a bit salty but, again complimented by the gravy, the relationship was perfect.

Cost: $11.50. A little on the high side but the quality was great and worth the price. Hell, I’m still full.

Service: Wonderful. Our waitress was chatty and efficient. Chicken Fried Neighbor asked how large the CFS was and her coy reply was “you’ll see” with a sly smile.

Music Selection: Oldies (Elvis, Buddy Holly, Chubby Checker). Check out some of their antique juke boxes.

Despite the out of the way location, it’s well worth a trip. You won’t be sorry. There’s also a “golf facility” in the compound of buildings, but I didn’t see what this meant. After that CFS, I needed a nap, not a round of golf, miniature or otherwise.

21522 FM 2100
Crosby, Texas 77532

Fried Fish Friday (Catfish Cafe - Humble, TX)

New feature! Man cannot live by CFS alone. Besides fish is good for you.

Catfish Café in Humble delivers on both words in the title. The restaurant is small but cozy – a perfect little cafe. The catfish (all you can eat or orders of 3 and 4 strips) was hot and juicy. Tarter sauce was pumped out of a big jug, allowing generous portions (and Chicken Fried Neighbor to mix some evil concoctions). All you can eat was $15.99 which includes a side of hush puppies and French fries. Both were tasty but the fish was the star. The staff was attentive and kept the catfish flying out of the kitchen.

7042 FM 1960 Road East
Humble, TX

Carriage House - Houston, TX

I discovered the Carriage House on accident because I was on my way to Hickory Hollow which is right down the road. Fortunately, I can’t seem to pass up a sign announcing chicken fried steak, so I made a return trip.

With horses on the premises and the acreage surrounding the restaurant including old building and, of course, carriages, the Carriage House is part diner and part historical grounds.

More barn than restaurant, the Carriage House is like no other place I’ve ever seen. It is literally like walking into an old barn, complete with wood all around, horse harnesses, hay bails and creaking floors. It is a cavernous place with many rooms that evokes a dark old saloon from yesteryear. The décor is more like an antiques store, with more china hutches than the collective grandmothers of my readership. This made for a very homey feel, especially for being inside of a barn.

The CFS: Very tender and cooked perfectly, making it hard to believe that it was cube steak. How they got it this tender is a mystery beyond my cooking skills. I wish more places would do it like this.

Breading: Flakey and crispy. It was as light as one could make such breading after frying it. It had a taste that reminded me of a cafeteria style breading , done with more care and thought.

Gravy: The gravy was flavorful – creamy and peppery with great consistency.

Knife: Regular knife. I usually lean toward something more substantial, but the tenderness of the CFS made anything more than your fork unnecessary.

Sides: Salad bar + one side. I chose the fried okra as my side: it was delicious. Fresh, hot and very crispy. The salad bar, which I used simply as a way to kill time until the fried items arrived, was well stocked but not very large.

Cost: $ 7.29. A great deal.

Service: Walkup service (which got crowded around lunchtime). The food came out hot and fast.
Music Selection: (Very) old country. It fit the location perfectly!

This place is certainly a throwback – a unique specimen from inside to outside. And the food is also unique. The quality of the CFS and the ethereal quality of the preparation ensures I’ll make another visit. I’ll bring Trigger next time.

7955 Fallbrook Dr.
Houston, TX 77064

http://www.thecarriagehousecafe.com/

Love and War in Texas - Plano, TX

Chicken fried parents have been singing the praises of Love and War for several years. The perfect storm of hunger, location and need for salt merged and we paid a visit. If anything, they undersold it. Despite being right behind Central Expressway, Love and War is a great place that could be anywhere in Texas: bar, outdoor concert venue, requisite Texas decorations inside, Shiner on tap and great food.


The CFS: The “Big Tex Chicken Fried Steak.” Super (fork) tender and very moist. Cube steak.

Breading: Thick, southern style but needed a little salt.


Gravy: A creamy gravy with ham. The flavor was good but the ham overpowered the CFS. There was a significant amount of heat too – more than you might expect. Cayenne pepper on the top (dotted with a little pasilla chili which chicken fried father unwisely gobbled down).

Knife: Steak knife. But, the tenderness of the CFS made it almost an adornment.

Sides: As good as the CFS was, this visit was all about the sides. Choose two. The mashed potato was creamy with great potato flavor and lumpy as Hill Country. The cream/ham gravy was ladled on top with a generous sprinkling of cayenne. The Texas Caviar (black eyed peas) had a great blend of peppers, heat, bacon and earthy bean flavor.

Cost: $ 11.95. A bit expensive but the quality of the food made it worth the cost.

Service: Friendly but not totally efficient. French fries were brought instead Tot’s mashed potatoes. We had to repeatedly ask for silverware. But a little banter, an earnest effort and good food makes up for a lot in my book.

Music Selection: My perfect playlist: Uncle Tupelo, Willie and more.

Try the wagon wheels (fried pickles) if you are really hungry – you won’t be disappointed.

http://www.loveandwarintexas.com/

Wunsche Brothers Café and Saloon– Spring, TX

A trip to Ole Towne Spring is like a trip back in time. Wunsche Brothers is where you’d eat if it were 1900, you were fresh off the trial and needed a starch fix (just ignore the neon).

Wunsche Brothers is a neat old style café with an old timey feel: wood paneled walls and floors, old pictures and rusted farm equipment adorn the walls.

The CFS: Southern style and deep fried. It was plenty big (long) and the cube steak was very thick. It was good but a little soggy and cold.


Breading: It thoroughly covered the CFS but it was unfortunately, as I mentioned, a little soggy. I would have preferred a bit more crunch to accentuate the differences in textures among the component parts.

Gravy: White and traditional. It was good but nothing to write home about. I make no qualms about preferring a gravy with a little zing.

Knife: Standard knife provided. It would have been good to have something larger, given the relatively large size of the CFS to the relatively small plate.

Sides: Choose two: I chose the mashed potatoes and the okra and tomato. The mashed potato was good but nothing memorable. It had a good potato flavor, find seasoning balance and a hint of garlic. The okra and tomato was a recipe worth stealing! Stewed together, the marriage of the thickly sliced okra and the diced tomato was a heavenly match and highlighted the meal.


Cost: $ 12.99, a little on the high side.

Service: Friendly but not terribly engaging. She did her job (waitressing) and we did ours (eating).

Music Selection: Contemporary rock. (bonus points if you can name the song with the following lyric: “I met her in a Kingstown bar…”)

Walk a few blocks around Ole Town Spring and you won’t be sorry. It’s a fun little place for a stroll with interesting shops and a wide availability of other fried vittles, like funnel cakes and fried Twinkies. If I hadn’t been so full, I would have gained 5 pounds.
http://www.wunschebroscafe.com/

Kelly's Eastside - Plano, TX

Part of the reemergence of Downtown Plano, Kelley’s Eastside is a cozy little bistro in the heart of downtown. The inside has a clean and organized feel but is still warm and inviting. There is also an outside seating area.
The CFS: The cube steak was overdone and chewy. The stringiness of the meat made me exercise serious jaw muscles to swallow.

Breading: A bit too crispy, suggesting it was overdone. Combined with the chewy steak, it made for a most unpleasant bite.

Gravy: Southern cream gravy. The flavor of the milk was fresh but it was a little bland.

Knife: A steak knife was provided and much needed.

Sides: Choose two. I had the queso mashed potatoes (mashed potatoes with queso poured on top) and the cole slaw. Although the concept was inventive, the execution fell short. The mashed was dry, unsalted and without much flavor. The balance of flavor needed to be better between the queso and the potato. The cole slaw was also subpar – it was crunchy but not enough acid to make the perfect creamy/acid nexus required of good cole slaw.

Cost: $ 11.95. Frankly, too much for the quality and quantity of the lunch.

Service: Efficient and friendly. We were in and out quickly.

Music Selection: contemporary pop.

Kelley’s didn’t serve up a great CFS but it was a nice place with a lot of potential. The creativeness of the menu and the great location downtown. I could easily see strolling over after work for a beer or just a quick lunch.
http://www.kellyseastside.com/

1422 Avenue K
Plano, Texas

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